As a mature male struggling with mental health life living in a city like London can make you feel small and shut away especially as you get older. Most of the time, I felt alone and didn’t have much reason to make plans. It’s not easy finding places where you really feel welcome or needed. That all changed for me when I joined Focus 4-1. Focus 4-1 is not your usual group. The best thing about us is that everyone involved is also a service user – we all have a say, and we all help to run things together. We all learn to make a safe space to support each other. When I turned up for the first time, I felt a bit nervous and anxious I wondered, will I fit in here? Can I actually make friends still? But everyone was friendly and made me feel like I belonged. It’s a place where your story and experience matter and counts. People listen. No one looks down on you. One of the best things that happened was being encouraged to get involved in research with the group. I’d never done anything like it before. Most times when you hear “research”, you think of people in labs or offices – not people like us. But at Focus 4-1, we do research to help people just like ourselves, and it makes you feel useful. I had a reason to look forward to the day in the morning and something real to focus on. Doing this work helped me feel stronger and useful I’ve met others around my age who’ve had tough times too. We talk, we laugh, we sometimes have a moan, but most importantly, we share and help each other feel less alone. It’s good to know you’re not the only one feeling the way you do.We do more than just sit and chat. We plan little events, we find ways to get people out of their homes, and we try to help each other keep going. Being part of Focus 4-1 has given me my confidence back. I feel good knowing I make a difference, even in small ways. If anyone out there is feeling stuck, I’d say give a group like ours a try. It’s not always easy taking the first step but Focus 4-1 has really helped me find purpose and friends when I needed them most. I’m proud to be part of Focus 4-1. It’s shown me that everyone has something to offer, and when we work together, we really can change our lives for the better..
Stephen