Last year I had the worst relapse that I’ve ever been through.
Things got so bad that they were talking about sectioning me. That word alone- sectioned is meant to send panic through you. But truth be told I was past caring. I was numb; empty; burnt out. I reached that place where nothing mattered not even the idea of being locked away.
What kept me going wasn’t a care coordinator or a crisis team/mental health team. It wasn’t any big organisation or professional swooping in to rescue me it was Intentional Peer Support. People with lived experience. People who don’t look down on me or ask me to explain everything. People who GET IT!
People who didn’t come with me with clipboards or scripts. It’s people who met me where I was, without judgement, without pressure. People who understood- not textbook people, but because they’d been there too
19 Weeks on a Waiting List- While in Crisis
While I was hanging on a thread I was also stuck on a waiting list what was meant to be 8 weeks was 20 weeks for a service that had been commissioned to “support“me. 20 weeks, 5 months!!
When they eventually called it didn’t feel like support- it felt more like an assessment they didn’t even try to build trust…they just launched into it
- Have you harmed yourself in the last……?
- Have you been suicidal?
- What are your goals
- What are your hobbies
I actually laughed when they said what are your goals/hobbies.
I didn’t know them, and they didn’t know me and that cold, clinical questioning- especially for someone in a crisis- just pushed me further into myself. I told them to speak to my team to get the answers.
And because of that?
They told my team I was “too complex to support”
Because I didn’t answer their cold, clinical questions from people I’d never met while I was in the middle of a relapse. They decided I was beyond support.
I can’t thank Focus 4-1 enough. A Director mentioned their Intentional Peer Support Practitioners and it changed everything.
They didn’t need me to explain everything they didn’t treat me like a risk or problem to manage
They treated me like a person.
They gave me space to talk or not talk. No tick box questions. Just a real connection with someone who understood what it’s like.
But even more than that they supported me to get out of the house
After weeks of being stuck inside in my own head and my four walls it was Focus 4-1 Intentional Peer Support Practitioners who gently patiently encouraged me to step outside again. No pressure. Just with presence
That might sound a small thing but when you are in that place its massive. That first step out of my front door felt like a lifeline being thrown.
That support- that HUMAN SUPPORT- is what kept me out of hospital
If you are reading this and you’ve been written off as too complex I want, you to know YOU are NOT the problem. You are a human being going through pain and deserve support that see’s your whole self, not just your symptoms
To Focus 4-1 that stood by me. You supported keep me alive. I’ll never forget that.
To the system, Start listening to us. Fund the work that’s already saving lives. Stop deciding who’s “too complex” and start asking why your services can’t meet real people where they are at.